Report A Crime
Report A Crime Today!
If you are aware of any criminal activity, please share the details below & where possible I will explode into action !
I promise to look into all serious reports, and will adjust my patrol schedule wherever possible to look into criminal activity reported by you. In some cases travel, logistics & budget may be a problem, at this stage in my career I can’t guarantee immediate action on cases that require me to travel interstate or internationally.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Hello,
It appears that you may be committing a crime every time you are on one of your patrols. I note on this website under the heading ARMOURY you state that you have a spray can of mace; this is a prohibited weapon. Also the Swiss knife if carried in public is also an offense.
As I understand it one of your fundamental themes is that you fight crime. Unfortunately if you are committing these offences as described above you lose some of your claim to righteousness. Of course these matters do not compare with serious offenders and these matters are at the lower end of the scale. I would also like to point out that this email is not to belittle you but to raise awareness about this apparent contradiction.
Kind regards
Thank you, Citizen, I appreciate your comment.
In actual fact, my crime is to have out-of-date information on the Armoury page of the site. That page was created at the time while my costume was being assembled, and I found subsequently that I could not purchase a defensive spray.
I did get advice from a law enforcement officer that the swiss army knife was okay. I’ll pursue a second opinion, thank you for raising it.
Yes, I would have grave concerns about the hypocracy of standing against criminality while actually breaking the law.
Your friend,
Captain Australia
Perhaps you should consider (and you have yourself hinted at this) developing your sense of ethics from something other than the law Captain Australia. I submit to you that a good philosophical guideline for you would be that it is okay for individuals to do as they wish, as long as they aren’t initiating force on others.
Following that guideline, you can protect and defend the citizens of Australia from crimes against individual freedom, and not merely base yourself on whatever the law says.
As long as you yourself aren’t doing anything other than using defensive force (which includes defending others) against aggressors, your conscience should be clear. Whether you happen to be breaking some statute should not give you moral qualms.
An eloquent point, well stated.
For my own part, I simply try to make every decision as if God were watching, and God were a mix of Gandhi, Batman & Fonzie.
I think that essentially, I stand against evil. Rule of Law itself can be evil, so in some situations I might deliberately need to defy a law.
I think that your definition of knowingly initiating force / doing harm is a good one, but rather than force, I would say “taking”.
Whether you take someone’s belongings by robbing them, their dignity and sense of hope by raping them, their safety by threatening them or their life by murdering them, I think as a broad definition I stand against the Takers of the world.
Thanks again.
Your friend,
Captain Australia
why be gay
I dont know … perhaps you can tell me ?
CA
I cant stop snorting cocain, please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Citizen, if you have a genuine problem, I’d love to help you.
I guess you do clearly have a problem, but I doubt it has anything to do with cocaine. Why do you have nothing better to do than vomit your futile sarcasm out into the internet ?
Let me know if I can help you somehow.
Your friend,
Captain Australia
I dont know where to start Captian Australia , I have a friend who lives in Maclean [ northern rivers ] she has a tree in her yard we believe to be a noxious weed , some sort of non native . W
Hello Citizen
Your posting appears to have only been partial, if you have a serious issue that you’d like me to pursue, please re-post or email the details to helpme@captainaustralia.net.
If there is some kind of dispute, I would happily mediate a solution.
Your friend,
Captain AUstralia
Captain Australia , I belong to a 12 step fellowship and people there tend to tow the party line in reference to continually mentioning God by name , they seem to believe every word written [ as long as that doesnt controvene any approved literature ] This can be quite scarey as Im an Ignostic , How do you see God and how is that represented in your day to day life ?
Hello Citizen
Someone asked me, a couple of years ago “Is there a God ?”
I took the question seriously, and asked myself – my mind, my heart, my spirit. I didnt try to analyse it or decide whether it was based on logic, faith or dogma.
The answer that came back for me was: Yes.
That doesnt put me in a clearer space regarding my own spirituality, but I do believe that there is a God, and in my heart of hearts I believe and hope that this great spirit has love for us.
Personally, I hold the view that organised religion is generally a human invention, and therefore flawed. The oldest churches in the world are rich political forces, and the words and scriptures and dogma that drive them were written by man, we just believe them to have divine inspiration.
(Maybe its true, maybe not)
I think some people without a rudder in their lives, seek out religion both as a compass and a crutch to help them stand.
A crutch isnt a bad thing necessarily, but it can lead to a cripple mentality. If you are only slightly injured, physiotherapy and hard work is often a better solution than relying on a crutch, which may give you a limp over the long-term.
That’s my metaphor and I’ll stick by it.
Your friend,
Captain Australia
Your perception is very deeeep CA , I also think that most of my Christian friends are very neeedy characters too . A mathmatician friend told me that 70 % of human beings feel the need to believe in God or a Higher Power . I was raised in Glasgow [ hence the fighting mentality ] and organised religion there is a disgrace , A God of fear and condemnation is taught . At 7-8 years old I asked the religious instructor how if Adam and Eve were the first beings and then they had Cane and Able and that after Cane had slaughtered Able he went out and married a sheila , I asked the teacher ‘ Did Cane marry his sister ? ‘ [ innocently of course ] I thought it was a silly story and never looked at the bible again . You with your vast knowledge and experience can maybe advise me on these matters , did Cane marry his sister ? Surely that is a crime , well on mainland Australia it is and how should we punish these naughty individuals .? Is there a statuate of limitations on these offences ? Thanks for your anticipated and gratefully received advise CA .
Hello again, Citizen
I wouldnt confuse biblical storytelling with historical fact. Theoretically if there were only Adam & Eve, and they had children, then yes, the second generation children are all products of incest.
That said, the gay community would probably contend that it was Adam & Steve, and frankly any position you take on this stuff is just as valid and fair as anyone elses. That is why it is so important to approach religion with respect and an accepting mind.
If I take the view that I am God and everybody else is my creation made purely to amuse me, that could be true, or it could be a symptom of a seriously deranged mind.
The point is, it could be true .. religion operates purely on faith. And I think it is important to respect everybody’s faith.
If you want to believe in a God of fear, punishment and condemnation, who am I to nay-say you ?
Personally, I like the idea of God being Energy, Creation & Love – but that’s just me.
I don’t think anybody can give you a definitive answer on this stuff, mate. Even if you’re in dialogue with the Pope and the Dalai Lama .. in fact, even if God appears to you in a dream .. could just be your own mental illness speaking to you.
Can’t prove or disprove any of it.
To have faith in something that intangible, can be, in my opinion, quite beautiful.
That’s my two cents on Religion, anyway.
Your friend,
Captain Australia
Also my spiritual advisor asked me when I started off on some sort of journey , ‘ In the beginning did God create man or did man create God ? ‘ I merely state this as you so rightly in my view said that organised religion was a human invention . Its a massive great area that I am interested in . I look forward to learning more off you Captain Australia and coming to understand .
Personally, I would suggest putting aside all the rulebooks and influences from outside, and look within. I think the key to your own spirituality is looking inside yourself and exploring those core beliefs.
CA
You, your existence is a crime.
There are two forces in the world, energy and atrophy. Think of them as creation and destruction. Me, I stand against the destroyers of the world, people who take and break without thought beyond their own selfish goals.
What about you ?
CA
Hey CA… My 2 year old daughter is giving birth and i have no way of getting her to hospital… im in Tasmania please help me
Hello Citizen
You clearly do need help, but you need to realise it before I could possibly be of any assistance to you.
Your friend,
Cap
Damit!!! Got caught by border secirity with 12 packs of cocain up me arse
Dear Captain Australia,
Mate I am here to report the heinous crimes of impersonation, theft and unaustralianism. I believe you know the perpetrator of these crimes. In fact, I believe you know them very well… for the thief, cheeky bastard, flaming gallah, bloody idiot and/or c&^%faceds&%$#guts, is in fact you “Captain UnAustralia”.
How dare you impersonate the real, stolen news paper returning, bbq tong master, beer drinkin’, piss talking, chemical boy, kangaroo riding, wizz bangin’, shit talking, table breaking, frisbee losing, fun spoiling, aussie mongrel, wheatbix kid, knock the back out of ‘er, little vegemite aussie battler working class man that is the undisputed Captain Australia.
To quote another famous aussie, “shame, shame, shame!”
Will the real Captain Australia please stand up?
JC
Hello Citizen
Thank you for your bizarre rant.
Kind Regards
Captain Australia